yorkshire 3 peaks

let me tell you now that thinsulate snow gloves are in no way, manner or speaking waterproof. they will be beaten by a light drizzle, let alone 50mph winds and torrential downpours.

it is with this watery theme in mind that i write to record yesterday amid the three yorkshire peaks of pen-y-ghent, ingleborough and whernside. after a 5am alarm, and deciding to walk to the train station instead of the warm, comfy taxi (schoolboy error), we arrived at the start point of horton-in-ribblesdale to rain that was definitely not falling all the while we were still on the train.

but morale was elevated, chocolate rations were not needing to be rationed, and full waterproof attire was selected. or so i thought. no sooner than my gloves had started collecting precipitation in anticipation of the summer hosepipe bans, my walking boots decided to reveal that the ‘WATERPROOF’ lettering on the sides was nothing but a hilarious prank.

this all while in the relative calm of a couple hundred metres up. the peak was just over 800m up, and the last 300m, words fail to describe the brutality of conditions. walking in a straight line? impossible. rain 1 degree away from rising instead of falling? check. some of the hikers we met coming down described the peak conditions as “evil”. by the time we actually reached the top, the only thing keeping us going was naming as many dutch footballers as possible. andy van der meyde and arjan de zeeuw were particularly spectacular shouts.

there was no way of getting down the other side, so we retreated to base camp and had what was probably the world’s most appreciated cup of tea, ever. this was after i forgot that waterproof trousers are no longer waterproof when deployed in wading through a pond. happily, the reverse route was less ridiculous weatherwise.

climbing up ingleborough was wicked fun, especially the steep snowy parts at the end. i then proceeded to experience winds the like of which i don’t think i will face levels of many times in my life. you could lean 45 degrees into it and still not fall over. i don’t understand why mountain goats just don’t pack it in and hang around valley floors. by this point all you were interested in was moving forwards and not rolling down a slope, that time ceased to really have any insignificance. hours melted into each other, and suddenly it was mid-afternoon.

that’s not to say i wasn’t enjoying my trenchfoot odyssey. the whole landscape and views and epic scale of the place was amazing. i found myself thinking on multiple occasions that i was thankful for this feeling of alive and not just living. because it really just is you versus the elements, and nothing apart from you is going to get you through those 24 miles.

before this becomes more than the ramble that it already is, i will close by saying that the 14” pizza i had on return to leeds easily slotted into my all-time top 5 pizza experiences. easily. by 10pm i was asleep. this morning my feet don’t work, but do i mind? not one jolt.

this is what life is all about.

we walked in aid of Leeds RAG Honduras Project

ps: my nose leaked a lot BECAUSE OF THE GALE